Menopause and divorce: Can my marriage be saved?

October marks World Menopause Month and with the subject no longer being swept under the carpet we are encouraged to have conversations that help to break
down the barriers and taboos surrounding menopause.

Menopause can be challenging, both physically and emotionally, which can often lead to tension within a relationship that may result in a breakdown or even divorce
in some cases.

The ONS statistics (Divorce in England and Wales: 2020) suggest that 60% of all divorce petitions are started by women and that 40% of those petitions
are initiated by women aged 45-55, who are likely to be going through menopause.

Dealing with the breakdown of a relationship or divorce can be stressful at the best of times, additional menopause symptoms can put a huge strain on the
relationship especially when the perception is that the other half isn’t as understanding as you’d hoped.

Could relationships be better protected if women and their partners understood how menopause works its way into all aspects of a woman’s life?

Lucinda Holliday in the Family & Divorce team at Blaser Mills Law offers some advice and best practice.

Educate: It’s important both you and your partner understand the symptoms of menopause, how long they can potentially last, and why these changes are happening
to your body. Educating on the subject will help to understand emotions better and hopefully break some barriers.

Communicate: This is the most powerful tool in your box. Take your time and have those important conversations about needs, expectations, and satisfactions.

Speak to others: Sometimes speaking to a third party such as family, friends, solicitors, or therapists can help to see things more clearly. It can also provide you with the additional support you might need.

Self–reflection: It’s important to understand where your feelings are coming from. Is it linked to your menopause and are your feelings temporary? Or are they here to stay and has the relationship actually broken down irretrievably?

Problem solve – together: Outline what the key issues are and as a couple come up with solutions of how you can improve them. Never fear change and compromise.
Take your time in making decisions: A significant change in hormones can lead to some hasty decision-making. Take your time with any decisions that may come your way.

Are there any other options?
Divorce can be a huge and overwhelming decision. You can try some alternative solutions such as:

Mediation: Mediation is a process in which an independent and professionally trained mediator helps couples resolve any challenges and disputes that you may arise
when separating. Lucinda has over 10 years of experience in Mediation and can discuss this route further.

Therapy: Although speaking to a therapist may be daunting it can be very useful for people that struggle to understand the changes taking place help to start those
difficult conversations. Blaser Mills Law has an extensive network of professionals that can be recommended to you.

Get in touch with Blaser Mills Law
To speak to the Family & Divorce team at Blaser Mills Law on divorce and menopause or to discuss mediation further please contact Lucinda on 01494 478603 or email ljmh@blasermills.co.uk.