National Bereaved Parents Day takes place on Saturday 3rd July to raise awareness for parents who have lost a child of any age, and from any circumstance. This year’s theme is ‘Keeping Their Memory Alive’.
Grieving the death of your child involves painful feelings. Sometimes it may feel like the pain will never end but most people find the grief lessens over the course of time. As hard as this may be, people always find ways to adjust to life and although working through grief can be a long and difficult process, there are things you can do to help you cope and adapt.
Ways to cope with loss
Each person’s grieving experience is different and it’s important to understand what your coping strategies were in previous difficult situations. Here are some examples that could help you:
Allow yourself to experience the pain of loss
Although the pain is significant it’s natural and healthy to grieve. Allow yourself to go through all the emotions of feeling shock, sadness, anger and pain, don’t feel guilty about any feelings you may have.
We know it can be difficult to share your feelings with those around you but remember they are your support network and you can ask for their help when you need it. Make sure to be open with them about how you feel and don’t be afraid to ask for some private time to grieve.
Be patient and kind to yourself
Each person grieves in a way that is right for them, let your emotions unfold at a pace that is natural to you. Never compare yourself to others and their coping mechanisms.
Grieving is both physically and mentally exhausting, remember to be kind to yourself and set time aside when you are ready to do the things you enjoy.
Stick to your usual routine
Carry on with your usual routine to structure your time and keep connected with familiar people and places. It’s best to avoid major changes such as finding a new job or moving house for any additional stress.
Ask for help when you need it
Don’t be afraid to ask those around you for extra support and help. This could include things like running errands, housework and looking after any other children.
Make sure to look after your mental health and know that you can reach out to those around you if you are struggling.
Keep their memory alive
In time you will learn to live with the loss, the memories and joyful moments you spent with your child and the love you shared will live on.
Take time to decide how you would like to keep their memory alive, recall the memories you have with them, continue their legacy by supporting any charities or get involved with volunteering, look back on photos and videos and try to create positive associations with any celebrations related to them.
Join a support group
Joining a support group offers you the chance to talk to others who are going through a similar experience to you. Support groups can offer some comfort, guidance and suggestions and can reassure you that your feelings of loss and pain are normal.
Seeking support
The Cruse Bereavement helpline is available for emotional support to anyone affected by bereavement.
The guidance in this article shouldn’t be regarded as a substitute for the advice from a trained bereavement volunteer. You can get in touch with Cruse Bereavement Care by calling 0808 808 1677.
If you’d like to speak in confidence to a member of the Blaser Mills Law team please get in touch with Carol Dalziel on +44 (0)1494 781362 or email enquiries@blasermills.co.uk.